Letting Go

Me being interviewed live on BFM - July 2016

It has been awesome, these past few weeks. I’ve had break through ideas in packaging and marketing my training programs. I have started doing the programs and discovering still the interesting ways I could deliver the message. I have seen some of the participants from the program grow personally and professionally. My personal growth, well what can I say, it has been hitting new highs constantly. 

Me at a Corporate Be At Your Best Workshop July 2016- trying something new

This is something I have learned about myself and learning to manage. Yes, I have letting go issues. You see, the past weeks the youngsters around me have shown astounding growth in confidence, in working towards their goals and personally as individuals. The Ascendance Team has been amazing in setting appointments, doing presentations and enrolling people to support their cause, much faster than I have done. ET Boost launched their test run and the Gen Y and Gen Z, I work with, were all excited and fired up coming up with interesting and creative segments.

Ascendance after their presentation at Rotary Meeting - July 2016

As I watched this, as much as I was feeling very proud of them, I was beginning to feel left out. I was beginning to feel not important and not needed anymore. At first I didn’t realize it, it slowly started creeping in until suddenly I was upset and crying and wondering why because it didn’t make sense even to me.

So, I took the case to Elango, my mentor who immediately diagnosed it as ‘Ah, you have letting go issue’. What? Me? I’ve thought of myself as someone who is ready to let go … let go of my responsibilities and waiting to hand over the baton to the younger generation. So, this was quite a shock for me. He explained this is how Gen X is … they want the younger generation to do well but not better than them. That words stung, I pondered …mmm.. maybe there is some truth there. I was discovering a little bit more about myself.

Then I asked, “so what do I do about it?” Elango replied, “firstly be aware and accept this part of you. Then remind yourself it is not about you but the younger generation. They are the future. It is not about you. Let them shine in their moment of glory. You are here to empower them. Empowerment means to guide them but let them do it their way and learn and grow along the way.”

Heerraa performing at a birthday party - July 2016

I nodded. I understood… but just because my intellect was okay with it, it didn’t mean my emotions were on board yet. It took a while more for the emotions to catch up. For a mother or a parent who have spent the last umpteen years nurturing, protecting and teaching this child, the sudden turn in roles can be nerve and emotions wrecking.  With understanding of what is happening to yourself , in time, you can choose your emotions and reactions. Letting go is a process. Be it letting go of your child, your importance, your lead role, your decision making prerogative, the limelight or just merely being informed of things and events.

Starting with awareness, then understanding of yourself and the other person, in the process of letting go will lead to a sense of fulfilment and freedom once you learnt to accept and manage yourself… I guess that is true growth … true maturity!

It also reminds me of the Law of Balance. My role as a mother and leader is created and preserved as long as needed and then this old role is destroyed and a new role as friend and guide is created. Nice once you accept and understand it.

Me and Heerraa at her graduation - June 2016