Letting Go

Me being interviewed live on BFM - July 2016

It has been awesome, these past few weeks. I’ve had break through ideas in packaging and marketing my training programs. I have started doing the programs and discovering still the interesting ways I could deliver the message. I have seen some of the participants from the program grow personally and professionally. My personal growth, well what can I say, it has been hitting new highs constantly. 

Me at a Corporate Be At Your Best Workshop July 2016- trying something new

This is something I have learned about myself and learning to manage. Yes, I have letting go issues. You see, the past weeks the youngsters around me have shown astounding growth in confidence, in working towards their goals and personally as individuals. The Ascendance Team has been amazing in setting appointments, doing presentations and enrolling people to support their cause, much faster than I have done. ET Boost launched their test run and the Gen Y and Gen Z, I work with, were all excited and fired up coming up with interesting and creative segments.

Ascendance after their presentation at Rotary Meeting - July 2016

As I watched this, as much as I was feeling very proud of them, I was beginning to feel left out. I was beginning to feel not important and not needed anymore. At first I didn’t realize it, it slowly started creeping in until suddenly I was upset and crying and wondering why because it didn’t make sense even to me.

So, I took the case to Elango, my mentor who immediately diagnosed it as ‘Ah, you have letting go issue’. What? Me? I’ve thought of myself as someone who is ready to let go … let go of my responsibilities and waiting to hand over the baton to the younger generation. So, this was quite a shock for me. He explained this is how Gen X is … they want the younger generation to do well but not better than them. That words stung, I pondered …mmm.. maybe there is some truth there. I was discovering a little bit more about myself.

Then I asked, “so what do I do about it?” Elango replied, “firstly be aware and accept this part of you. Then remind yourself it is not about you but the younger generation. They are the future. It is not about you. Let them shine in their moment of glory. You are here to empower them. Empowerment means to guide them but let them do it their way and learn and grow along the way.”

Heerraa performing at a birthday party - July 2016

I nodded. I understood… but just because my intellect was okay with it, it didn’t mean my emotions were on board yet. It took a while more for the emotions to catch up. For a mother or a parent who have spent the last umpteen years nurturing, protecting and teaching this child, the sudden turn in roles can be nerve and emotions wrecking.  With understanding of what is happening to yourself , in time, you can choose your emotions and reactions. Letting go is a process. Be it letting go of your child, your importance, your lead role, your decision making prerogative, the limelight or just merely being informed of things and events.

Starting with awareness, then understanding of yourself and the other person, in the process of letting go will lead to a sense of fulfilment and freedom once you learnt to accept and manage yourself… I guess that is true growth … true maturity!

It also reminds me of the Law of Balance. My role as a mother and leader is created and preserved as long as needed and then this old role is destroyed and a new role as friend and guide is created. Nice once you accept and understand it.

Me and Heerraa at her graduation - June 2016

My Siam Reap Holiday - Man vs Nature

This is my second holiday to Siam Reap. My first trip was 9 years ago. I remember how the Angkor Wat fascinated me. I spent hours admiring the sculptures on the walls. The Apsaras especially fascinated me. The grandeur of the ancient kingdom fascinated me. Expecting the same experience this time around I went with Elango, Rammya, Heerraa and Harsha.

I was in for a surprise. I was feeling very disturbed when I entered the Bayon temple, so disturbed that I felt dizzy and did not proceed to go in to admire the sculptures on the walls. I sat down with Elango at the exit while the three of them toured the temple. Puzzled, I asked Elango why I was feeling so disturbed? He asked me what was the feeling that was disturbing me? Still puzzled, I answered, I feel like many people have been forced to live here and do things that they didn't want to do. It's like being held against your will. Being held captive as slaves and entertainers for the king.

Elango then asked me, 'how do you think the kings of the ancient times built this temple?' I answered, 'by forced labour … Invaded the place, captured the locals and held them captive against their wills….. Forced labour …. Slaves.' He then asked again, 'why did the Kings do that? Why did they build such great structures, sacrificing people's lives? think …. mmmm …. It was to show their power … How great they were … Feeding their ego … Under the delusion that their Empire would be there forever. That they would be remembered forever for their greatness…. and that it is was their right to force the locals to build the structures in memory of them. They were taken in by the need to accumulate and build things.

Then Elango asked me to think how this relates to modern day life, my work and me…. mmmm … He explained, I want to do Culture Shaping …however, change is only for those who want it and welcome it. Not for all. For some, they are comfortable with their way of life even if they are complaining about it. Culture shaping is only possible by changing people's habit patterns … Getting them to follow Natures Laws, Give First, Give without expectations, be truthful, do SIEP and stop reacting to their senses, share instead of competiting, look for solutions … all this is only for those who want it … More importantly all these is possible only if I practise it in my life first. People will do what I do, not what I ask them to do. My vibes will attract people who are looking for the change and want to put the change into practice. I nodded.

Then I told Elango about my earlier experience in visiting Angkor Wat and how it had fascinated me and asked him why it was different now. He answered, 'At that time you were PEIS … i.e. your physical senses saw the sculptures and ancient temples, listened to the greatness of the ancient kingdom and your emotions got fascinated. Your intellect amazed at how great the ancient kingdom was. Now, you are less PEIS so you begin to see the stupidity of the whole thing. You began to feel uncomfortable with the forced labour used to build the temple. You began to see that the Kings were PEIS … taken in by their senses and swayed by their emotions … driving the need to accumulate ...to build … to inflate their ego … using others to get what they want .. thinking their power and kingdom will last forever … thinking they will be remembered for their greatness … This will only make them fall harder and deeper down … Then they will have to climb up again'. I nodded, deep in thought. I was amazed at how much I have grown in the past two years.

I also noticed something interesting … the different responses of the Generations. The Gen Y in the group was troubled but they didn't know why. The 'corrupted' Gen Y was fascinated by the architecture just like the Gen X yet they were alternating between thinking it was a waste of resources. Gen Y was troubled and not impressed by the grandeur. Interestingly Gen Z was clear, not emotional but objectively thinking how not to repeat this stupidity  … Not build structures but live with nature, creatively!

Next we went to Ta Prohm Temple (or better known as the place where Angelina Jolie shot the Tomb Raider scene). The tree roots were engulfing the temple roof and walls … Nature was literally reclaiming its place. The ancient majestic temple was slowly but surely being turned into dust and dirt. I stood there gaping at the monstrous roots fascinated by the power of the trees, witnessing a tiny bit of nature winning in the end, witnessing the fallacy of man, thinking he can build something that can last forever, thinking that he can be immortal through the legacy he leaves. This reminded me of the current generation of baby boomers and Gen X who accumulate power, money and fame, building legacies to leave behind, thinking that they will be remembered, only to have it crumble to natures forces in no time.

Later in the day when I visited the Angkor Wat, I noticed I no longer was fascinated with it. Instead I was thinking what a waste all these was. I was thinking how blessed I am to have grown from being fascinated by the architecture of man to be fascinated by the forces of nature.

Train the Trainer

I was doing a follow-up workshop today when I saw my facebook memory share alert … exactly  a year ago, my mentor and teacher Elango Thiyagu did the first company follow-up workshop with the intention of teaching me how to do it. And here I am, for the first time truly doing the follow-up workshop on my own. A proud moment for me indeed. I have come a long way.

Be At Your Best follow-up workshop for PPG Coatings on 18 March 2015

This isn’t the first follow-up workshop I have done on my own though. The first time was a couple of months ago when Elango suddenly told me he needs to watch the markets because of the currency volatility and I had to do the follow-up workshop the next day. My mind went like ‘oh…. Noooo’ but I heart said ‘okay’, so I did it. It was an awesome learning experience. I would term it as a success. Hey I can do this.

Then there was this other time, the night before the workshop he got sick, fever and shiver and all when he asks me .. “tomorrow’s workshops you do ah?” and I reluctantly nodded. Then scramble and prepare and do the follow-up workshop. Another awesome learning experience! Another success! After that I got smarter and volunteered to do most of the company follow-up workshops. All different experiences … yet successful in delivering the intended message. Getting better with each workshop.  All in all I’ve done 7 workshops to-date. Today was two continuous  8^th and 9^th workshops. So why was today different? Why am I saying for the first time truly doing the follow-up workshop?

Today I was doing the workshop without any disturbance from my senses with my mind firmly focused on my end goals. No battle with myself. I was having fun. My newly programmed subconscious mind was sharing experiences from a few years ago, from a few weeks ago, borrowed experiences, personal experiences, work experiences, experiences of doing my best, experiences of practicing SIEP and so on … it was on a roll, going with the flow … and I was having fun … picking the correct amount of information and examples the participants needed to understand the concepts and put it into practice…. high energy from within, irrespective of what the participants did or said.

Be At Your Best follow-up workshop for Secure Guards on 18 March 2016.

Today I understood why Elango said I need to practice SIEP, giving my best without expectations, give first, be truthful, thoughts, words, actions aligned, do the relaxation exercise, have end goals, focus on solutions, respect and work with the laws of nature … basically practice all these first to a certain extend before I can do the classes.  [for people who have no clue about the jargon I am using , well come for our next Be At Your Best program to find ou] For the first time I see how Elango has been training me over the past two and half years to do the training program.

You see, when I told him I wanted to do the program more than 2 years ago he answered, “Okay. I’ll teach you. Are you willing to learn?” Confident was my reply ‘Yes’. Then for the next few weeks we had weekly meetings talking about everything except the  program. We talked mostly about myself. I did wonder  when was he going to talk about the program. I was expecting him to tell me the layout, training module , training plan etc. Every time I brought the subject of the program up he will avoid it. I was a bit confused on how was this teaching me how to do the workshops but I trusted my teacher and went along.

Then one day he said I need to meet as many people as possible so that my subconscious mind can learn. Mmmm… how was I going to do that? He suggested that I do a 1 day program. I thought it was a good idea too and came up with a one day program on goal setting. Then came the difficult part, how do I get participants for the 1 day program? I needed to do marketing but had no clue where or how to start!

Getting a bit desperate now, I talked to a wise young girl about this and she asked why should they come? They need to see the need for it first. Mmmm… so I thought I’ll design a questionnaire and go survey people in the malls. There started my mall walks! I remember on my first day, I had lunch with my mentor. The experience of the mall survey was overwhelming I just sat there and cried and cried. He passed me his handkerchief, bought me lunch, listened to my experiences and realizations about myself and told me he was proud of me.  Then at 2 pm he asked me to go back to doing the surveys. I stared at him in shock but got up and went back to doing the surveys.

I started surveying random strangers in malls for a few months, with a lot of resistance and non-consistency in the beginning until later it turned into a daily activity which I started enjoying. I started enjoying having conversations with random strangers. Everyone was a reflection of myself and with the help of my mentor I started getting to know myself better. I did over 100 surveys. Then came the second part, calling them up and signing participants up for the 1 day program. Again, a learning curve of falling sick when I make calls to enjoying talking to people on the phone. Then I did my first 1 day program, then the second, then the third and fourth.

1:1 meeting with my mentor during ET Ideas Tuesday meetings.

Then one day during ET Ideas Tuesday meetings [www.ET-Ideas.com], Elango was telling someone that he will teach him to do his program in his country in Sudan. You should have seen my face. I went ballistic! I confronted Elango on why he has not taught me on how to do the program yet. He laughed and replied he has been teaching me all along and testing to see if I really wanted to do the program. I replied ‘Yess!!’ to which he said okay let’s schedule a date, you get the participants and I’ll do the program which you can video record and learn. However, only today did it fully dawn on me that in our many meetings, the surveys, the phone calls, doing my 1 day program and working with the ET Ideas team in other projects he was actually teaching me how to do the ‘Be At Your Best’ program [www.globetrotterconsultancy.com.my]. He was teaching by getting me to correct my habit patterns, do SIEP and manage my emotions, give first , do my best, repeat my goals, learn how to do marketing, have end goals and numerous invaluable lessons regarding my subconscious mind, listening to my heart and achieving success which I will come to share to my participants when I started doing the ‘Be At Your Best’ program.

Be At Your Best Public Program - 2014, 2015 & 2016

We did the first ‘Be At Your Best’ public program in October 2014. In 2015, we did the second public program and 3 Corporate Programs. In Q1 016, we did the third public program and another Corporate Program. Gradually I have started doing the follow-up workshops as mentioned earlier. So why was today’s workshop truly successful?

To an extend it was because in the past two weeks I have actually started doing SIEP correctly and responding to situations and people instead of reacting to what my senses picked up. I was actually thinking and responding. It was slowly becoming a habit pattern. Hence, when I was doing the workshop today, I was not reacting to what my sense saw or heard. Eg. it didn’t bother me that some of them looked sleepy, some were on their phones, some were busy talking among themselves. My mind was so firmly focused on my end goal of delivering what the participants need and getting them to understand how to put it into practice that what my senses saw didn’t bother me. I didn’t have to use willpower to focus. It came naturally. Gradually, my participants engaged and I achieved my end goal, effortless while having fun. This, I could do only because who I have become. Today I fully understood how Elango has been teaching me and preparing me from day 1 to do this workshop. I understand why if I don’t live it I will not be able to conduct the program.

I have a long way to go but now I feel the extent to which I have grown in a short period of 2 years and I am grateful and thankful to Elango for guiding me patiently and not giving up on me. I am also thankful to nature for bringing me to Elango and the ET Ideas team. I would not have seen the bigger picture of life, my purpose of life if not for them..... and having so much fun too!

Outing with the ET Ideas team.

My Boracay Holiday – Lessons on being Selfish vs Selfless

This morning I woke up and my heart wanted me to write this blog. My mind was protesting that I don’t have time, I need to get ready for my appointment, I need to dry the laundry and a few other things in my ‘to do’ list … but my heart insisted, so here it goes….

Exactly a week ago Elango, Rammya and I were on a flight to Boracay, a really beautiful island in Philippines [a must go destination]. It’s a four hour flight so we all fell asleep for awhile and after the meals were served we had this mind blowing conversation which to me was like one of the most important lessons I have learned. To understand the conversation, I need to flash back to incidents that happened two weeks ago ….

On the flight to Boracay - 8 Jan 2016

I love working with people, sharing my relevant experiences as they grow, sharing the lessons I have learnt, helping people see a different perspective, solutions …  guiding others do SIEP*, showing people how the laws of nature is at work [www.ascendancepro.com] etc. However, a week ago as I was working with someone, it triggered my own emotions, I did SIEP and was okay for a while but then something else triggered me again and I got sucked into the world of wild emotions again and this repeated a few times until I could no longer do SIEP and lost all rationality. This really scared me and my mind said I am not stable myself, not consistent in doing SIEP and managing my own emotions; hence I am not ready to work with others yet. Another huge concern was I was working on my goals to do the ‘Be At Your Best’ program and being in a negative emotional realm will slow or even derail that. I told my mentor, Elango this and he agreed. He asked me to immediately stop working with anyone on emotional matters and only focus on my goals. My mind was happy. I immediately snapped out of the emotional whirlpool and could focus on my goals again. Convinced I was at that point that I had made the right decision.

The next few days were simply awesome. I was super focused on my goals. I set appointments with CEOs easily for the next whole week! Participants called me to sign up for the ‘Be At Your Best’ program. Anyone who called me to seek help on doing SIEP and managing their emotions, I asked them to talk to Elango. I was only focused on achieving my external goals. Along with successes I was having in marketing and signing up participants, some strange incidents started happening. One example was, in my meeting with one MD, an elderly gentleman; he suddenly was diverted into talking about his sexual problems which was totally not related to the topic of managing emotions. This took me aback but I managed to steer the conversation back to managing employee emotions and the ‘Be At Your Best’ program. However, this troubled me and I was asking myself ‘how did I attract this conversation?’ I told Elango this and he said, “Interesting …  we will talk about it later”. A few other incidents like this took place and again I was wondering how am I attracting all this unwanted conversations, situations and people.

Back to our conversation on the flight to Boracay …. Elango dropped this bombshell on me …  I had attracted the unwanted conversations, situations and people when I started focusing only on achieving my external goals and stopped working with people, I was being selfish. This strengthens my old subconscious programming and it presents people and scenarios that can take me on a downward cycle. In the past week, my old subconscious programming had built back the layers and is now stronger. I went palm to face and was dumbfounded.

He then explained, working with people … sharing your experience and helping them with the intention for them to grow is being selfless. Yes, it triggers emotions but that is how you learn how to manage your emotions and do SIEP better. This is how you grow. Since my goals now is to be happy, heathy and earn $$$, it strengthens the new programming of wanting to be happy.

Oh damn … I was tricked by my mind … but it was a very good learning experience. I have often wondered why I was finding it difficult to achieve my goals this time around albeit with Elango’s guidance. In the past I have achieved my external goals … my study goals, career goals, financial, family and relationship goals.  Now I understood that this time around my goal is to be happy and achieve my external goals. This requires a lot of clean-up within me, old habit patterns, old subconscious programmings and building new ones aligned to being happy. This time, I am growing inside and then only outside. This takes time and lots more effort in the initial stages. I was glad of the lesson I had learned and convinced more than ever on the current path I have chosen. Being selfless is the only path to personal growth … to know who I am?

Rammya and I exploring the beautiful beaches of Boracay - Ati Athihan festival parade in the background.

Rammya and I chilling out by the beach in Boracay

Over the next few days we had lots of fun exploring the white sandy beaches of Boracay. Many times I saw how strong my old subconscious programming had become. Thank you to Elango and Rammya, both took turns helping me snap out of it … to do SIEP … and we had an awesome holiday.

Dinner by the beach on our last night in Boracay.

On the last night during dinner, I brought the topic of being selfless up again. I asked Elango, how do I know what to say to someone to help them? How do I know that I am not causing them more harm? To this he answered, “Have it in your heart to genuinely help others, to see them grow and be happy and your heart will guide”. He gave a few examples of how I thought I was being selfless when I was helping others but my old sub had hijacked it by using certain words and gestures and made it selfish to take care of my own interest as was my earlier programming. He cautioned me to beware of what my old programming can do and gave me examples on how to say the same things but with a selfless effect. I nodded in silence, absorbing the very important lessons.

In a nutshell, the point I am trying to get across is that, achieving success externally is easy but achieving success and being happy, i.e. growing from within is difficult but it’s all that matters in the end!

*SIEP is the correct way of thinking to manage emotions and respond to people, events and situations instead of merely reacting. [www.globetrotterconsultancy.com.my]

Nature : Ignorance is bliss … or fatal?

I was hanging out laundry when I heard this heart wrenching cry ….  The cry of the jackhammer slicing into a sturdy old tree. I watched workers cut the perfectly healthy rows of trees as the atoms of the tree screamed out. At first I tried to ignore it and carry on with my work but the cries were just too much. One reason I chose the condo unit I am living in is because it overlooked a lovely row of tree tops …. Now here I am watching them cut it down.

Rows of trees being cut down 

I walked down to the Management Office downstairs and enquired why they are cutting down the perfectly healthy trees and managed to call the manager in charge. She informs me that it was a decision approved at the owners meeting. The owners have long been requesting to cut the rows of trees down. I was flabbergasted. I asked her why? She answered that they were concerned that the tree branches might fall on the cars below and the tree roots might damage the condo units, so they are cutting down the trees. I fell silent.

I remembered a few years ago we had a nice beautiful shade tree in front of our house in Kota Kemuning. The tree roots were beginning to crack the entrance. This brought fear to my dad that the tree roots will soon destroy the house and he got the tree cut down. I bought this reason then and watched the beautiful shade tree being cut down thinking it was necessary to protect my house.

Here I am in a similar situation again, watching beautiful shade trees being cut down because a collective group of owners of the Condo units think it is necessary to protect their property. This time though, I felt this burning question : is it really necessary? Are we overreacting? There must be a way to keep the trees and protect our property. Cutting down trees is the easy solution but we have no idea of the spiral effect it has on nature, the eco system and the climate. It starts with the mindset of every individual in the society. It starts with every little thought … every little action which leads to the global catastrophe we are facing now with the melting of the ice and impending rise in water levels.

Just from my micro experience of the trees being cut was that some of my potted plants on the balcony dried up because now the direct sunlight was too strong. The wind blows stronger and the clothes on the hanger gets wet if it rains. The condo is hotter and dustier. This is just a little impact from one tiny incident. What happens when all the little things we humans do out of fear and greed is pooled together?

Scientific research indicates sea levels worldwide have been rising at a rate of 0.14 inches (3.5 millimeters) per year since the early 1990s. This is a significantly larger rate than the sea-level rise averaged over the last several thousand years. Studies published in 2015 state that even if we manage to limit global warming to 2C  (the target number for current climate negotiations), sea levels may still rise at least 6 meters (20 ft) above their current heights, radically reshaping the world’s coastline and affecting millions in the process.

By 2050, 26 major US cities will face an “emerging flooding crisis.” Globally, storm damage could cost cities from Hong Kong to Dhaka to New York trillions annually unless adaptation measures are taken. According to Climate Central estimates, 150 million or more people are currently living on land that will either be submerged or exposed to chronic flooding by 2100. Malaysia, being a little peninsular sure looks doomed. In the past years we have seen the unprecedented rise in natural disasters, Chennai flooding being the latest. The facts and evidences are trust upon us yet we live in ignorant bliss that we have a future living the way we do now. Thinking the way we do now.

Recent floods in Chennai

So this begged the question, what can I do? I realised doing what my heart has bidded me to do …  awareness programs on nature’s laws and listening to the heart, connects people back to the bigger picture of life…. of their real purpose of life besides the routine maintenance of living imposed by society. This creates awareness in Gen X and Gen Y. Awareness before change. It is too late for my Generation, Gen X to change but the awareness will enable them to provide the platform and provide the support required by Gen Y and Gen Z to perform the task they came here to perform. Saving us, humans, from our own greed and fear and appeasing nature’s fury at our follies.

Looking at Gen Y and Gen Z, I see hope and am excited to see the future unfold with them, while doing my little part to create the awareness required for change to take place from within.

 

Being in a relationship and changing my goals

A few days ago someone asked me “can I work on my goals and keep my relationship separate?” I knew the answer to this and chose to give her an example on how my friend and her husband grow together as they work on similar goals and also an example of how my divorce many years ago was inevitable as I grew in achieving my goals. Then told her a divorce is messy with kids and parents etc. Be wise and make the decision before that. As you progress towards your goals you will know if he is with you or not. Then listen to your heart and make the choice. Little did I know then that my understanding of the matter was still … well, preliminary.

Last night I had a conversation with my mentor and he was getting me to see the hatred and anger I still harboured against my ex and his new girlfriend. Let’s walk down memory lane….

Some 10 years ago I met this absolutely amazing person. He was the one who introduced me to my personal growth. We worked together really well, almost telepathic in meetings at work, achieving success one after another at work. We were best friends. But what I cherished most was the way we helped each other grow. How he could see my ‘drama’ starting and cut it short and get me to see what I was doing. I in turn was one of the very few who could knock sense into him when his ego grew too big. Our conversations would often make each other go ‘pooff’. Intellectual orgasm. The realisation and awareness about ourselves that the other person could bring out made the relationship special and awesome.

I started off doing a 1 hour free workshop on Managing Personal Energy

Somewhere along the years, my personal growth became most important to me. It was an aphrodisiac. I then thought in which way can I focus on my personal growth and still make a living. That’s when I decided I am going to be a self-awareness trainer because I knew that if I do that, my personal growth will be phenomenal. He supported my decision when everyone else thought I had lost it. I moved from being a Finance Director to a Regional HR Manager as a stepping stone. My growth was accelerated.

My first 1 Day Goal Setting Workshop - 22 Feb 2014

Then a few years down the road, I quit my job to setup a company doing ‘Culture Shaping’. This time he simply couldn’t see what I was talking about. He kept telling me it would not work. But my heart was adamant and strangely my mind was with my heart. I went along with my decision. He wanted to start another company and I didn’t join him. He did ask me “Now that we don’t have common goals what is going to happen to us?” The question took me aback, I pondered on it for a few minutes and decided I’ll work on my new goals and keep my relationship separate. We will be okay. 

We both worked on our goals separately. Suddenly even basic communication was difficult. He was spending a lot of time with this girl on his new business and it made me jealous. I have powerful thoughts and I was aware of it but could not stop myself. Jealousy escalated to suspicion, arguments and accusations. Even I could not recognise myself. He retaliated and all hell broke loose.  All in less than a month he decided he was happier with this new girl and was truthful to me when I confronted him. I still remember the pain that shot through my heart like a dagger and I actually fell to my knees. I could see the hurt in his eyes to see me like that but he stayed silent. I broke off the relationship with a lot of drama from both of us. We both agreed on one thing though, our friendship was very important and let’s keep that and not let the relationship ruin it. Although we both decided to stay friends and in our hearts knew we can’t grow anymore with each other and our goals required us to move on, on our own, it still took us months to let go of the habit patterns and emotional and physical attachment.

The first Be At Your Best  - 11&12 Oct 2014

It was at that time that I met my mentor. Every time I tell Elango about the culture shaping thingy I wanted to do I would listen to him and watch him and think in amazement, ‘he actually understands what I am talking about’, even I only had a hazy picture. Elango saw what I wanted to do and believed in me and my goals even before I did. A few years later and now I am working on my goals with some parts of it becoming a reality ... the picture is clear, I am confident and focused on my goals. Fast forward to yesterday …

So coming back to the anger and betrayal I felt from the breakup … Elango was getting me to see it was no one’s fault and that there was no conspiracy theory to set me up. It just happened because both our thoughts changed. My goals changed. And she was not to be blamed because she didn’t even know about it. My mind conveniently blamed her so I didn’t need to take responsibility for it. As much as I intellectually understood this, my emotions did not agree….

This morning after much switching between my emotions and intellect, then it dawned on me the whole drama was created because I changed my goals. Had we discussed then to part when our goals changed, when he asked me the question, we would have planned the breakup amicably, no drama and the friendship would have prevailed stronger. But my emotional attachment blinded me then. At that time I did not understand the Law of Balance (http://www.ascendancepro.com/)

The Second Be At Your Best - 4&5 July 2015

It also made me realise how strong my heart is. When faced with a major life changing decision that affects my evolution, it came out strong the stood firm and my mind followed without question. Another thing is the wanting to discover myself is a strong yearning from the heart which lead to me prioritising it over the mundane maintenance of life.  For many people achieving their financial goals, relationship goals, a bigger house, a better job, a happy family suffice and there is nothing wrong with that. It’s their evolution and their heart’s call. For a few people like me, my personal growth and self-discovery has become the center to my existence.

Valsala

5 Dec 2015 

Leaving the rat race

Currently I am marketing the ‘Be At Your Best’ High Performance Culture Shaping program. This takes me to manufacturing sites all around the Klang Valley. As I wait to see the bosses, I look around and watch employees being busy at work, feeling very important. Clocking in faithfully and in routine. Their lives revolving around the company they work for. The world outside their company does not exist for them. A few days annual leave aside, their time and soul sold to the company they work for in return for the security of a fixed monthly income. I take a deep breath in, thinking ‘how many years of my life have I done that too?’

Someone once told me Industrialisation is modern day slavery and at that time I thought that was a too extreme view point. However, now, I watch similar patterns in employees and standing in the outside, looking at the bigger picture of life, I began to realise how true that is. A vast majority of people trade their most essential commodities ; time, energy and ideas for an exchange of a safe and comfortable living. When in essence there is not much living outside of work at the company.

Be At Your Best Corporate Program to raise awareness on the bigger picture of life

The difference?

One group of aimless dejected people wasting their potential because they are too comfortable to step out of their comfort zone. The helplessness and unappreciated feeling turns into dissatisfaction and anger towards co-workers and management. They are unhappy and make others around them unhappy too. This is carried forward into their personal lives. They feel trapped in the lives that they are in with family and financial responsibilities and end up being bitter.

Then there is the other group, ambitious, giving their best and rising up the corporate ladder. They feel appreciated, important and indispensable. Spending most of their working hours, energy and thoughts at work neglecting family and more importantly personal time. Neglecting the voices of their hearts. They actually think the company will collapse without them and prioritise work at the company above family and themselves. One day when they retire or is asked to leave the company or the position for some untoward reasons, they end up devastated and empty.  The company on the other hand, or rather the bosses and other employees, will struggle for a few days, reorganise or find a replacement and move on without you. If you come back a month later, you will be surprised how life in the company has moved on without you. A year later? You would have become a distant memory, a part of history only a handful still remembering you with fondness.

Be At Your Best Corporate Program - how do you play the game of your life?

Either way life passes by without you even getting a hint of the real purpose you came here on earth. You end up following the system, going to school, getting a job, getting married, having kids, buying a car, buying a house and a few more …  working harder to pay it off. Then one day you wake up and it’s all in the past, kids grown-up and flown off, retired from the company you worked for, relationships with spouse and family members on tolerance basis and you ask yourself “what is the purpose of my life? I came here for mere maintenance of life?” But, by then, the voice of your heart is so distant and muted that you no longer can hear it. Even if you can still hear the whispers of your heart, you would have run out of time and energy.

Be At Your Best  - are your thoughts, words and actions aligned?

When I explain to people about what the Be At Your Best program does .. it is time for oneself to connect to their hearts, understand Nature’s Laws and reflect on their thoughts, words and actions, understand what is blocking the happiness, health and wealth their heart desires, many are interested. They are fascinated when I share my journey and that of others. However, when I ask if they would like to join the program, most will reply they don’t have the time…. Work and family commitment take priority. Even, attending friends and relatives wedding, going for holidays take priority over spending time for themselves. Time to reflect, contemplate and discover themselves. Time for checking the bearings and correcting the course if needed. Time to see the bigger picture and set the direction of the course of their lives. As I hear these excuses again and again, I smile to myself and think “if only they knew what they just passed on for mere maintenance of life”.

Be At Your Best July 2015 Public Program - listening to your heart

Leaving you with a quote from Steve Jobs ;

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”― Steve Jobs

Valsala